The Blackberry & the Clover Leaf
I think of a story I once heard about the Ohlone tribe of Northern California. Back in the day, if a tribe wanted to get together with other tribes, they’d send out a clover leaf. Each time the moon was full, the receiver of the leaf would cut off a section of the clover, until there were no sections left, which meant it was time to head out to the meeting. When everyone would get together, it was a multi-day affair. First, the younger crowd would speak, then different groups, with the elders having the last word. Imagining what it would be like in those meetings, I think of time slooowing down.
As I sit here typing on my laptop, Blackberry at my side, enjoying all the wonders of technology, I wonder whether we’ve traded something away for these conveniences. Specifically, I’ve been thinking lately about how, while it’s become so much easier for people to connect, it’s also become so much more difficult.
Here’s what I mean: it’s really easy to reach out to the virtual world and make any variety of connections. Yeah, yeah, never before in the history of man has it been possible for a kid in Brazil to instantly connect to a friend in India and exchange a text message or swap the hottest tune.
But at the same time, is it becoming more difficult to create more meaningful and deep connections? Back in the Ohlones’ day, you could really spend time getting to know someone. Sitting there, together, you got a good sense of the person.
Psychologists have found that proximity engenders empathy. That is, the closer we physically are to another person, the more empathy we’ll have towards them.
Is empathy being reduced by virtual connections?
The nature of human interactions is rapidly shifting. I’m starting to feel old-school in picking up the phone rather than texting, or in going to lunch with someone rather than emailing, and I wonder how we’ll create meaningful relations in this new world.
I’m a big fan of virtual communities—from selling my old couch on craigslist to checking out an article on Wikipedia. But it’s important to remember the underlying psychology of human relationships. We crave closeness and warmth. Actually, we require them. As we become more and more virtual, we also need to keep in mind the core building blocks that make people tick.
February 5th, 2007 at 6:38 pm
I think this is the legitimate counter-point to the rah rah rah about how tech is changing the world. My attitude is that tech will continue to proliferate and will only become MORE part of our lives, not less. Given this reality, how can we best manage it to still ensure that physical connections are still cherished? For me, my in-person interactions are much richer with technology because before I meet someone, I have a lot of “meta context” on who they are (most likely). So, since i still do a lot of face-to-face, I think I’m getting the best of both!
February 11th, 2007 at 11:12 pm
As Ben has written, I think it’s critical to see technology as a tool for facilitating relationships, rather than as the sole medium for them.
I certainly use a lot of technology to help me build and keep relationships. One simple thing I do is to note my friends’ birthdays so that I can be sure to contact them at least once per year.
Yet the key to building relationships remains the same: 1 on 1, face to face contact. Even with folks from the younger generation.